​

Lucy, a poem for my dog

Like a board, your body was.

Unbending, rigid to your core.

Like a spring, your body is,

Happy, free and loved like never before

Two months in, already learning to trust

Freely living in safety, no more flinching

Alone never, starving never, hurting never

With your bright spark and springy legs

So eager to love and to please

Your spry tail and toussled ears,

Your eyes tell me a million stories

We have yet to hear a sound, though

They silenced you through painful measures

Never a bark or whimper is heard now.

From here on, it's only simple pleasures

Your smile is emerging from your concrete state

A masterpiece caged into marble

Fear, petryfying panic and terror are crumbling away

To reveal the most beautiful of marvels

A life as precious as any other, a creature

Entitled to happiness, health and love

Welcome home and stay with us

A family is what we're made of

Stay a while, but please keep your coat on

Walking and hiking and running and jumping around

We can do it all, especially in the snow!

Dress warm and let's go adventuring abound!

​

The importance of openness with ourselves is above all else. Admitting to yourself you need help is key to recovery. No matter how deep you feel you have fallen, there is always, always a way back up. No matter if it is a serious situation or simply everyday life stress. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling without shame. Without blame. Without being weak. Without judging yourself. If you dont judge yourself, how can anyone else?

Love you. You love you. Be good to you. Speak up and be heard. Cast shame and judgement and guilt and fear and expectations and anxiety aside. Grieve, feel sorrow, feel pain, feel stress, feel the truth. Speak the truth. I am suffering. We all are in some ways on some days; we are humans. Feel grace, feel gratitude, feel joy again, breathe, come back to you. Feel alive, feel the power, feel the love, feel appreciation for yourself. Make your happiness. It won't just happen from others, miracles or magic. From within. Win.

You will win. You will feel. Everything. And that is a beautiful thing!

Just my thoughts lately....

 

HAPPY 16th Birthday Russell!!

To my son Russell,

The honour of being a parent, me, your mother, is infinite. I ached for you to be in my arms. And all of a sudden, there you were. Your beautiful open eyes, taking in light for the first time. How black and deep were they were. Such fine features and dark hair. I looked you over and over. My masterpiece! My offspring, grown from my body. A miracle, you are! Life created from life. I have never looked away since then. Your gaze has enchanted me. Your voice is connected straight to my heart. After all, you are a piece of it.

I am so grateful for this absolute privilege of being your mother. That I can be your hands and feet when yours are still too small and fragile. To be your giant, for you to stand on my shoulders. To be your lighthouse for you to navigate through the storms. Your voice when your words were yet to form. To be your confidence, to advocate for you, and guide on your journey.

What will you remember of me? What will you say in your stories? How will you remember my voice? How will you remember my love?

Being a mother is the single deepest connection of the deepest kind. I see generations behind and ahead all in your visage. Your beautiful golden hair around your angel face. Your hazel eyes that pierce through, with shining light. Your small voice changed to a strong, confident one. Your smile and laughter and sense of humour lights me up. Your laughter is so loveable and genuine. Your positivity and kindness and integrity makes you shine so bright.

Never have I ever had such immense endless joys as being your mom. Play times, bath times, snack times, family times, and road trip times. Your very own personality made every one of those times the best memories for me. Your giggles, your love of animals and of chocolate are so infectious! Your fierce loyalty is to be admired. Your heart is pure and vulnerable, but your wisdom will pull you through.

You are not breakable, just shapeable. Choose your path to joy. Seek out what makes you shine.

Our overlap of lifetimes has created unforgettable experiences and memories. You are my purpose. You have taught me more than I have ever had to teach you. Your empathy will guide you and your joie-de-vivre will keep you joyful. You deserve to surround yourself with only those who deserve you. Those who encourage and foster happiness, authenticity, and growth. Your future is bright and exciting!

I look forward to every single day I have with you.

Have fun, be yourself, be crazy, be happy!

The air is chilled, and the sky is grey. There's nothing much exciting today.

It's only Wednesday but I don't care, 'cause I've got a new pair of boots to wear!

My head's been in a fog for days, and I've gotten upset in countless ways.

No need for that, for after all, nothing matters; nothing at all.

The world keeps turning, and life goes on, even when your smile is gone.

For what is life, if not our journeys, over the hills and through the valleys.

Across vast plains and through unknowns, but the beauty is you're never alone.

You can't know joys without any pains, nor can you give without any gains.

Enjoy your ups and moan your downs, show your smiles and hide your frowns.

What happens next, or now and then, I know in you I have a great friend.

A simple word, or text or look, tells me that you simply took,

The time to know me and love me and then, after all this time you still care when

I'm not myself, I just need some time to get back to me and again be fine.

So I'll wear my new boots and enjoy my chance, through life's rises and falls like a waltz and just dance.